On the journey to self re discovery I found myself in several psychological dilemmas . To my greatest surprise, I realised I had complex issues, I struggled for approval from friends and folks alike,I also struggled too hard to fit in . In my minds eye all the people in my life where better than I was. Having grown up in a very healthy environment and under the best circumstances, I began to ponder on what the issue was. Still perplexed at my discovery I realised I had always had this issues from the onset,I was just able to curtail its effects from being so obvious. I appear to the average person as been put together and having it all, the reaction of such individuals helped build my ego.
I went on to discover that my situation was not as a result of my relationships or environment, it was all me by my own will. I discovered this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, I was ready to deal with it head on. Like it is said a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. First I had to understand the reason for my struggle.
In my quest for solutions, I realised I was a product of what I think myself to be if I believe I am insecure and lacking or inefficient in certain areas that is what my mind will accept to be . I did a survey first on how people percieved me to be, I came to the realisation that most of the people I felt I strongly needed their approval couldn’t be bothered. The limitations and constraints I thought people and society put on me was in fact put on by me and my mind.I realised that i was better off without most of the friendships and groups I was trying so hard fit into, most of those relationships were in actual fact down relations for me, they took more from me than they were giving and would ever be able to give me.
I came to the ultimate realisation that people only see me the way I want them to see me. I understood that being different, having values and goals that are not conformed to what society and what people agree on makes me unique.
I concluded that my not been able to fit in or blend in puts me in a higher trigonometry than the people i am trying so hard to be accepted by, i realised being different is a good thing and the best of all the qualities I possess . I realised as long as I am at peace with who I am and my maker is at peace with me this is all that matters.